Dealing with spoonie motivation lapse

How do you stay motivated, when every day is more or less the same as the one before?
When your options for ‘mixing it up’ are extremely limited? Mixing it up, basically means just doing a slightly different version of what you were already doing. Every day. For the last seven years.

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How do you stay inspired?

Here are my options:

  • When lying in bed (most of the time) I can watch or listen. So the first means tv-series, movies, youtube, the second means audiobooks, music, podcasts.
  • When able to sit up (1.5 to 2 hours in the morning + 1 to 1.5 hours in the afternoon) I can go for a walk, go get a coffee or something in a nearby cafĂ© and read or write for a bit, or answer online questionnaires as a way to make some tiny bit of money (no money basically, it’s just enough to maybe buy a book a month or something).

Mixing it up therefore means:
Oooh new podcast!
Fun! I can read this book instead of that other one!
New tv-show!

Of course there’s also the exercises I have to do every day to say “strong” and improve (hopefully). And activities related to the of buying food, cooking the food and washing dishes. If and when my body allows me to do those things.
Yes, exciting stuff, no?

I just can’t help, that every now and then…
I get into this funk. This rut of… oh boy, what am I gonna do now.

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Those phases where you’re just not really enjoying – well, anything.
And the problem is not with the activity usually. It’s not that I just haven’t found the right movie or youtuber to spark joy.

The problem is not the thing, the problem is me.
I, all of a sudden, just can’t find the joy.

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Spoonie-problem or human-problem?

I know that everyone struggles with this from time to time, spoonie or not. But while other people go on vacations to recharge, or do things like a short weekend away with a tent and the fam, most spoonies don’t have those options.

So everybody gets bored sometimes. But bored gets a whole new meaning when every day is really, truly, the same. Always.

I wish I could say I knew the solution to this. That I could write a blogpost like: “5 ways for spoonies to break out of a rut” or something like that.
But I guess it just sort of comes with the territory.
And it sorta comes with life too (at least modern life). Because like I said, most able-bodied people struggle with this as well.

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The “solution”

Let’s try for a solution anyway!
And it’s okay, cause I used quotation marks. So you all know not to get your hopes up too high. By which I don’t mean don’t get your hopes up at all, I am going to say something semi-useful.
Just get your hopes up a medium amount. Medium hope.

Here it goes. The “solution” is…

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…to just wait it out.

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Remember: you’ve been here before.

And after a while, the fog just kind of lifts. Slowly, usually, but surely.
It can take a bit longer, or shorter. The fog can lift gradually, or in a start-stop kind of way. But there usually comes a point where you find a new thing that is able to spark joy. Or an old thing that does excite you all over again, inspire, motivate.

And that’s usually when the dementors retreat. You don’t even need the patronus-spell really, just the happy thought will suffice – which is probably for the best cause we’re not wizards. Sadly.

So one more time:
Remember, you’ve been here before.
Stay strong.
It will get better. You’ll be joyful again. Even though you can’t actually go anywhere new, or do anything other then all the things you’ve already been doing every day for years, you will be inspired and motivated again in the near future.

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